You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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