whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
