it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
