I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
