My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize