I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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