I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
