I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
