Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize