Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He shit in the fireplace
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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