Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize