be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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