I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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