The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
