I'm gonna have a badass scar
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
