Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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