R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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