I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
