That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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