What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
