Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
