I just pynch a tree in the face
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
honey bunches of taint.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
