I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
