Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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