I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
