Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
