Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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