her vagine was all disorganized.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
