I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
