Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
