now i know why i became what i already was.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize