hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize