nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
