It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
