So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
