Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
