I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
