this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
