My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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