thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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