ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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