so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
