there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
there is glitter all over my balls
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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