That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
