I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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