I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
