Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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