There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
