This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
