Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize