why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
