should my penis look like a turkey
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I had to cum in my sink.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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