not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
