Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
