Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
