So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
