You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
third nipple confirmed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
