Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
