she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this beer tastes like vomit already
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't deserve a penis
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Terrible idea I love it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
