I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
