It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
