and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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