i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
