Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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