He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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